part two

It's almost a year since I first started baking for a living. Ha. For a living. You would be surprised with how much I make with my baking business. I won't tell you. But I will tell you this: I have never been happier doing so much work.

A few days ago, Faadz, a fellow baker and one of my inspirations, wrote on her blog how after five long hours baking, she dropped her finished cake on the floor (and had to start all over again!). I immediately texted her, saying how it was absolutely a baker's worst nightmare. Remember my Topsy Turvy Cake? It was my first layer cake and a very tall one at that. Guess what? It collapsed. And I ahd been on my feet for eight hours! I told Faadz how I now have a totally new respect for bakers. I have a totally new perspective on life!

Yet, despite the long hours standing on my feet, the aching back I get from bending down on many, MANY cupcakes writing details (not easy! doesn't work like a pen!), finding your cakes burn or sink, I am never happier than being in the kitchen, waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning to do an early order, sleeping at seven in the morning.

I have said this before and I will say it again, I have never felt like my one year being unemployed as a misfortune. Instead, I have never felt so lucky! I ahve found my one true joy! I have found my talent, even if I am still very, very green at it. My end products are not as beautiful nor as pretty or professional looking. But I have learned so much. I've learned that baking is a science (there are actual ratios involved!), baking is expensive and involves a lot of tears.

But baking has been my friend. I told you how I was going through a rough patch and still is. I can just switch off all the nastiness and unhappiness that I have no control over, and take out the butter and melt the dark chocolate. I can produce something beautiful and full of yummy goodness and give it to those who will appreciate it and enjoy it and be happy. I will be happy too.

Baking has also improved my self confidence. I have very poor self esteem and I am scared of meeting new people. When I first started the business, I kept the baking blog low profile, for fear of people actually wanting to buy my cakes which meant that I would have to meet these people. A contradiction, I know.

Many, many months pass by, word somehow spread. I am thankful for the support of those who helped spread the word. I plucked up the courage and joined an online business community which basically meant putting myself out there for everyone to be aware of my existence. Advertising.

Since then, I have met so many wonderful people. I have read kind words, even from those who have not tasted my cakes. Then I started doing deliveries. I felt that I owe it to them.

I am not the most confident person today, but I am a little bit more confident than I was a year ago. I still get scared when I meet my patrons, I wonder if they go thinking "Is this the baker? Do I want to eat her cake?" But I think of all the most wonderful things about them, how thankful I am that they even want to try.

who ever said being unemployed was a misfortune? One of my first thoughts was "God has given me an ability. I am healthy and I am able to learn. I should make full use of it."


So, here I am today. :D

rezeki

tak kan lari gunung di kejar
kalau dah jodoh tak ke mana
kalau sudah rezeki, no one can take it away from you
if it's meant to be, it's meant to be

It's quarter past one in the morning and my back aches from being on my feet for the past four hours. But I enjoyed every minute of it (as long as I could block out the sharp pains) because I was in my "office". Yes, dear readers, I have odd office hours and at odd hours of the day (or night!).

In case you have not been doing a follow up on my life (because you actually have a life), my office is not within the ministry nor any posh private companies. My office is less than a minute away from my cosy bed. My office is no other than the kitchen. :D

There are so many reasons why I love doing what I do (Selling Cakes). If I were to discuss or write down each and every one of them, I would not finish writing till I am six feet under. But I suppose I could and should at least start my Love Saga.

A few years ago, I was doing a little bit of soul searching, wondering what my talents are because I seemed to jump from one hobby to another. Kinda like Jack of all trades, but master at none. I still am like that. thinking about it, it isnt't really a curse. It's quite a blessing to be interested in a lot of things instead of finding life a great bore. Yet, I really wanted to do something and stay there for a little while (which was difficult because my mind was like an octopus; I wanted to do EVERYTHING at the same time!).

I have never seen my being unemployed as a curse. Yes, it can be difficult at times. But taht only happens when other people make it difficult for me by making me feel like a total loser. Other than that, I completely have faith in Rezeki. My one year of being unemployed have actually opened up an opportunity that I've been waiting most of my life for: to try a hand in entrepreneurship. It wasn't planned actually. I never started out trying to sell my cakes. It was the requests for them that gave me the boost. I was quite embarrassed at first. I didn't even make much profit. Most of the money goes back into inventory. I didn't feel I deserved much profit since the cakes I was able to offer were baked by a total amateur. So, during the early days of Pip Pops, I only made about $2 to $5 of profit. Which I think was appropriate given I was new to the whole bakin' and sellin' scene.

Today, I still think that my cupcakes are a lot cheaper than others. And I aim to do so because I think that cakes, particularly cupcakes, should not be limited to a certain class of people. EVERYONE should get to enjoy the cute little cakes. (promote much? heheheh! Don't I sound like Marie Antoinnete.)

To be continued.. :D

Two weddings

I have been the self-appointed Maid Of Honor for two of my best friends who happen to be getting married on the same day! Bride Wars, anyone? Hehehe.. They joked about it actually. But it really is Life imitating Art (minus the degenerating friendship). They even have the same wedding song! (which is, by the way, also mine. LOL! OK MEN DO NOT FREAK OUT THAT I HAVE DECIDED ON MY WEDDING SONG. I fell in love with the song yonks ago ok!)

I suppose that's why Dewi and Hane are best friends: they have SO much in common! We spent a whole day together last weekend looking at Wedding stuff: wedding dress, dais, planners, the whole enchilada. They even made me try on a gorgeous mermaid dress which unfortunately I could not pull up beyond my ass. SNIFF. I warned the girls that we might end up being an episode of Friends where the girls tried on wedding gowns and refused to take them off. LOL! Butttt we did take them off (not after monopolizing the fitting room for an hour, giggling like highschool girls!!) eventually. I was actually quite bitter at wedding dresses after that. I didn't think I was THAT fat. Stupid dress.

It was quite an odd day for me. Good odd I think. Unlike a lot of girls, I've never really thought about my wedding day (except for the songs hehehe) and it was a whole new experience for me. Quite frankly, I have self esteem issues and never really dared to think beyond my wedding songs. But that's besides the point. I was, and still am, extremely surprised at how organized brides-to-be are (they have folders for it!) and how well-informed my girl friends are at the wedding services available.

I have been the accidental Bridal Party Planner and I have been extremely excited about it. Why, it's almost 1.30 am and I've been taking down notes, browsing the webs for ideas...

and now, ladies and gentleman, i want to be a Party Planner when I grow up.

XD

Positive and Negative. I'm starting to sound like a self help book!

Today, one very negative thing happened and one very positive thing happened.

The negative thing was definitely a poke at my New Year's Resolutions. The ghost of 2009 made its ugly appearance today right after I shared with you that I was leaving it all behind. It was certainly making its point that it wasn't going away quietly. I snapped a little bit. And then I remembered that I was not going to retrieve my steps and pick up the heavy baggage again and carry on my back. Not this year. No more negativity. The past will always be with us but we must always give a happier future a chance. And that can only happen with the right attitude.

The positive thing that happened was I FINALLY met an adult (by adult, I mean my parents' age hehe) who genuinely understood the concept of self-employment (with job-hunting on the side) and encouraged me with my cake biz! This was a nice change because I usually get a very discouraging attitude from adults when I tell them I am selling cakes and job hunting. Usually, they don't think people actually buy my cakes. EVER. It's quite insulting, really. When you work hard for a relatively small fee at even longer hours than the usual nine to five, it really is insulting when people treat you like a bum. I mean, it's hard enough that I am struggling with getting a job.

Anyway, I'm getting negative here so I'll stop. Today, I am thankful that my Cupcake Sale was successful. Faadz even sent me a text which meant a lot, coming from a skillful cook and baker. :D